Monday 30 September 2013

"Because I Might Die" : The Art of Making Vice-Presidential Picks


"Now, why don't you just leave me and Vice President Santiago to our own devices?

Right, Santiago..?"

"Si!"

-  Dave Chappelle, 2003





I contend that the art of making a Vice-Presidential Pick lies in choosing someone without Presidential ambitions of their own, who will do exactly what you will have made clear you wanted to do prior to being shot, thereby eliminating any perceived gain to be had by shooting you.

And on that basis, in spite of his accident-prone tendency to find himself in unfortunate situations (almost to the same extent as any black politician in that regard.... Or Bill Clinton), Joe Biden is and always has been perhaps the genius Vice-Presidential pick of all time.

Although he frequently does get fucked by events. Or members of his Secret Service detail.



"When in doubt, steal from the best!" - Quentin Tarrantino.

Or, Neil Kinnock:



“I started thinking as I was coming over here, why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university? [Then pointing to his wife in the audience] Why is it that my wife who is sitting out there in the audience is the first in her family to ever go to college? Is it because our fathers and mothers were not bright? Is it because I'm the first Biden in a thousand generations to get a college and a graduate degree that I was smarter than the rest?”

- Joe Biden, 1987

I Quote The Enemy:

"Following the Kinnock attention, reports came from the San Jose Mercury News of Biden giving a February 3, 1987, speech to the California Democratic Party that reused without credit passages from a 1967 speech by Robert F. Kennedy, and of Biden giving 1985 and 1986 speeches that did the same with a passage from a 1976 speech by Hubert H. Humphrey.

In the Kennedy case – which got the greater attention, since there was film footage of both versions that television news programs could play side-by-side – Pat Caddell stated that the reuse without credit was his own fault, and that he had never informed Biden of the source of the material.

It was also reported that the California speech had taken a short phrase from the 1961 inaugural address of John F. Kennedy.

After Biden withdrew from the race, it was learned that he had indeed correctly credited Kinnock on other occasions. But in the Iowa speech that was recorded and distributed to reporters (with a parallel video of Kinnock) by aides to Michael Dukakis, the eventual nominee, he failed to do so. Dukakis, who disowned any knowledge of the Kinnock video, fired John Sasso, his campaign manager and long-time Chief of Staff, but Biden's campaign could not recover.

Meanwhile, Biden and Kinnock had become close friends after the plagiarism incident. Meeting in August 2008, after Biden had been chosen by Democratic nominee Barack Obama as his running mate, Biden introduced Kinnock to his Senate staff by saying: 

Hey, you people! Do you know this guy? He used to be my greatest speechwriter.”

Biden's 1988 campaign lapses were never a significant issue in the race, and Biden invited Kinnock to the inauguration."





Curiously, Republicans do not seem to factor in death or incapacitation when factoring in their Vice-Presidential picks - just pure politics.

Perhaps it's since there hasn't been a credible attempt on the life of a Republican President (ignoring the hit on Reagan, since it originated inside the White House) since 1901.

How else do you explain some of these picks...?

This man cannot spell "potatoe"



This man had had four heart attacks and a quadruple bypass.




Smile for the cameras, Dick.





George H.W. Bush was the model of a working Vice-President.

However -


Now, this is interesting; the official caption for this DoD picture, taken with hours of the first inauguration reads: 
Description
English: Vice President George Bush and other VIP's wait to welcome the former hostages to Iran home.
  • Location: ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE
  • VIRIN: DF-SC-82-06566

Which is interesting - since other sources cite the port of entry for the returned hostages was Stevens Air Force Base in upstate New York - which has, to say the least, an interesting pedigree.

You may remember it from 9/11 and the Northwoods plan; thusly -
















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